We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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