Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
