I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
