she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
