my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
