i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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