Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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