12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
