Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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