how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
