Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
