Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
