Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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