Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
