Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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