I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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