I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
