The maid of honor just puked.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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