I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
