So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
