The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
