Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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