Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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