I wanna passion pit in your ass
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize