oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
