went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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