I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
