Please, let me fuck your mom
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
