Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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