i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
