Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
