She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I stole a fireplace last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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