May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
