Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How does it feel to date your dad?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
