saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
