I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
