every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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