Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
