i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
