so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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