She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
