Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
