so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
