i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
