literally had 100 drinks last night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
