There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i think i just lost a toe
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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