i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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