She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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