If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
