im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
