i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
