I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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